Adventures in [Crunchy] Parenthood

My daughter had a tight double nuchal cord. I don'...

2010-03-19T17:38:16.949-06:00

My daughter had a tight double nuchal cord. I don't feel like nuchal cord is necessarily an emergency, but I do agree with those who say it sometimes can be and is dangerous.
Because our daughter also had a birth defect (gastroschisis), the insertion point of the cord at her umbilicus was weakened, so when the doctor went to unwrap the cord from her neck, it actually ruptured and came completely off of her body. It tore to such an extent that even in a hospital, in a situation where neonatologists and neonatal nurses were already present in the room in anticipation of her birth, they had a difficult time clamping the vessels and stopping the bleeding.
In (rare) cases like hers, I could definitely see where nuchal cord could be a potentially deadly complication... and I'm sure there are other situations that are just as dangerous.
One thing that I have learned in the past couple of years is that, as good as your information and your intentions may be, you always have to consider that every situation is unique.
Before my daughter's birth, I was totally and completely opposed to epidurals, however I ended up needing one while in labor with her. (I wasn't progressing- I was dilating but not effacing- she was caught up in her cord and couldn't descend so there was no pressure on my cervix to help me efface... we figured this out after she was born and had obvious bruising all across her face where the cord had been wrapped.) The doctors started threatening me with a c-section, so finally I decided to get an epidural and within 45 minutes she was born. I know from the reading and research I've done that my experience with the epidural was an exception to the rule, but now I am not nearly as militant about how awful epidurals are, and how they aren't good for anyone!
Just something to think about...

Thanks for the very enlightening article. It seems...

2010-03-18T15:12:11.432-06:00

Thanks for the very enlightening article. It seems like emotions run high, so much so that the studies get ignored. My husband is a doctor. He is keeping a list of things that the medical community "knew without a doubt" but then once newer studies came out or the negative effects of what was "known" began to be realized, now they "know" that the opposite is in fact true. (for instance in certain procedures it was recommended to do a blood tranfusion for the patient, but now they've realized that tranfusion actually compromises the immune system so it is not recommended). My point in saying this is that sometimes old things are still taught in med school (by the older doctors) and if doctors are not actively trying to learn more, they may be misinformed and hence unintentionally misinforming patients.

Also, sometimes doctors tell patients what they think they will best be able to understand. I am a chiropractor. I know that some of my colleagues tell patients that they have a "pinched nerve" because that is what people understand. It is not exactly true. They truth is much more complicated and involves explaining neuroanatomy and physiology, which often just confuses the patient. Patients often want a quick answer that they understand. I think that this may also be why people are told it was the nuchal cord, when it might not be. That is easy to explain and to be understood.

Just some thoughts....

I had 5 out of 6 babies born with cords wrapped ar...

2010-03-18T09:04:43.099-06:00

I had 5 out of 6 babies born with cords wrapped around their neck and body. 2 out of the 5 had short cords. The only 1 that had issues was the one where I was told not to push for 5 hours. They did have to give her oxygen. Knowing what I know now, I would say that was from listening to someone else tell me what I was feeling. Most of the time our bodies tell us what needs to be done. We have just gotten so good at ignoring our instincts and instead rely on experts telling us what we need to do.

I am sorry for all those who lost babies. I probably would be the same way if I lost a child to a cord issue and no one would be able to tell me any different.

In most cases cords do not cause problems. I think that we should stop scaring people into thinking that it is a 100% of the time problem.

Thanks for your posts all. I had my son vaginally,...

2010-03-03T15:45:06.719-07:00

Thanks for your posts all. I had my son vaginally, with no antivirals, nursed, and he was fine. I was a nervous wreck though. This time around, I've had 2 back to back recurrent infections in the third trimester and have gone on suppressive antivirals, just in case my membranes rupture and there is an outbreak pending, if not active.

While it's a personal choice, and some women are better 'surgery candidates' then others, i.e. based on weight or past surgery outcomes, etc.., for me this time around considering all of the above, I've scheduled a c-section in my 39th week. I am unable to live with the idea of the potential 1 in 5000 risk of passing it on considering I've been having a recurrent outbreak every 4 weeks. With my first pregnancy I only had 1 outbreak/trimester, but to have these back to back in the last trimester, means it's too much for me to risk.

I've had a few surgeries and faired well, have normal weight and intend to still continue on the suppressive acyclovir just in case as mentioned above. Since 1 in 4 average having a c-section for various reasons, I feel it's by no means a 'novel' procedure and the risk from surgery compared to the risk of hsv2 infection in a newborn are a no brainer, the latter is incredibly worse. The goal is a healthy baby and easily avoided risks, for me anyway are the way to go. This is easy to say since I've experienced a healthy and no problem vaginal delivery. Ultimately ladies well wishes and follow what's in your heart and your gut. For me I'm having a c-section.

Thanks for your posts all. I had my son vaginally,...

2010-03-03T15:43:41.056-07:00

[ ... ] link is being shared on Twitter right now....

2010-03-01T20:05:02.791-07:00

[ ... ] link is being shared on Twitter right now. @zenx, an influential author, said RT @1ndus: Xtreme [ ... ]

Jenni - thanks for the comment and clarification a...

2010-02-28T19:33:23.909-07:00

Jenni - thanks for the comment and clarification about missionary ages. I meant that the average age of
missionary people can expect to see would be around those ages. But I also fully admit I didn't
know the age parameters.

Just wanted to add that the church has more member...

2010-02-28T19:04:05.014-07:00

Just wanted to add that the church has more members outside of the US than in, so we really have a lot of black, hispanic, african, etc people as members of the church. There is in fact a member or two of the MOTAB that are black. Here on the East coast, I actually feel like a minority in church being white. :) I just wanted to add that I really appreciate what you posted. It's great to hear your thoughts about how you learned about the religion, and for clearing some things up. Although, I'm not sure if you meant to put that the male missionaries range between the ages of 18-21 when really they are 19-24. Just wanted to clear that up :)

Im sorry, I meant to address the questions to Emil...

2010-02-18T10:17:55.767-07:00

Im sorry, I meant to address the questions to Emily, did you have an unassisted child birth and pregnancy with hsv2. Thank you, the informaition has been helpful. Sorry about the mixup.

Hi Melodie, I posted a comment some time ago with ...

2010-02-18T10:11:51.039-07:00

Hi Melodie, I posted a comment some time ago with some questions. I didnt know if it didnt go through. I just wanted to know if you ended up having an unassisted childbirth? Again, thank you for this article, it was very interested and reassuring.

Wonderful post! I have been scouring the internet ...

2010-02-17T14:10:44.021-07:00

Wonderful post! I have been scouring the internet for info on GH and homebirth especially since I would like to go unassisted this time. With my first I didn't take any antivirals and did not have any active lesions at the time of birth and she was born perfectly healthy. I hope things go just as well this time around.

Emily, Sorry, I did not mean to insinuate that YOU...

2010-02-17T11:53:56.051-07:00

Emily,
Sorry, I did not mean to insinuate that YOU are racist. I have read a few books on the religion and from what I've gathered, it seems racism is still a pretty big problem in the church. I'm glad to hear you haven't experienced anything first hand.

And duh, I meant prosecuted, not persecuted :) Anyway, thanks for this, it was very interesting. Like I said, I'm very into LDS and FLDS because it's so foreign to my every day existence.

Elita - There is no inherent racism in the church,...

2010-02-16T22:30:24.851-07:00

Elita - There is no inherent racism in the church, although black men were not granted the ability to hold the higher priesthood until 1978. As far as I know, black people are completely welcomed in the church. Also, the church in Latin and African countries are comprised almost entirely of dark-skinned people. There's an inter-racial couple in my ward now. I have never been, and am not now, the least bit racist, and I also have never heard a negative or racist comment about any non-white culture as long as I've been a member. (Although it is true there are no black people in Utah. From someone who grew up in the Deep South, the loss is felt deeply.)

As far as the polygamy thing goes, yes there is a fairly large polygamist community (relatively speaking) here in Utah, and they have nothing to do with the LDS church. Well, in a way they do. Back when polygamy was officially repealed, some people disagreed, and broke off of the LDS church to form their own "FLDS" religion (Fundamentalist LDS), where they could be free to practice polygamy. They are not members of the LDS religion and are disavowed by the mainstream Mormon culture. They are also prosecuted to the extent of the law, if they manage to get "caught," but that is a whole other can of worms. I used to work for CPS on the Utah/AZ border, and there is a significant problem in those communities, and is universally frowned upon by locals, Mormon or not.

There are two other large pockets of polygamist communities, in Canada and in Texas. They all have slightly differing philosophies, but the basic tenets are the same.
They are notoriously hard to prosecute, for a variety of reasons, and at least here in Utah, even if the law was successful in prosecuting every known case of polygamy, where would we put thousands of families? It is a very complicated and truly tragic situation. I would be happy to discuss it in detail, if you ever want to know the ins and outs of modern polygamy practices, as I used to work closely with the community.

Interesting. I am very much interested in LDS beca...

2010-02-16T20:17:43.560-07:00

Interesting. I am very much interested in LDS because of some books I've read over the years, and because of my obsession with Big Love. I notice you didn't mention the racism in the church, but I guess that's because it's not a myth. I spent some time in Salt Lake City recently and I shudder to think what it must be like to live there as a person of color.
As far as polygamy, even though it's not condoned by mainstream LDS any more, isn't it still pretty prevalent in Utah? Well, maybe that's not the right word, but doesn't the practice very much still exist in the state and in the LDS community, although it's not persecuted? We all picture the Fundamentalists in the prairie clothes when we think of polygamy, but doesn't it still happen in LDS?

Janeen - I do eat pork, but I know many who litera...

2010-02-11T13:08:14.551-07:00

Janeen - I do eat pork, but I know many who literally observe the statement in the WoW to eat fruits in their season. Also, there is some debate as to whether or not caffeinated beverages like soda or energy drinks fall under the WoW, since neither existed at that time. Basically the way I figure it, if it's not good for you, don't eat it. (Although I still haven't been able to apply that knowledge to chocolate. :/ )

Melodie - I think it depends on where you live. In my area, there are not many natural LDS moms. I think it has less to do with the specific tenets of our religion as it has to do with being deeply religious in general. I tend to find that a significant number of deeply religious people are into the natural parenting stuff. I think that is because people who are deeply religious 1) are used to listening for the Holy Spirit, so tend to follow what they feel is right, rather than what society says is right, and 2) strive to become more like Jesus Christ, who of course, would never harm a child. After all, Jesus Christ was UC'd, exclusively breastfed, EC'd, and uncircumcised, coslept, and was worn. ;)

This was really interesting for me Emily. Thanks. ...

2010-02-11T11:52:23.416-07:00

This was really interesting for me Emily. Thanks. While I don't identify as Christian I have always been intrigued and fascinated by all religions and spiritual beliefs and I deeply respect them all.
I have noticed since starting my blog that there appear to be a number of natural parenting moms who are LDS. Perhaps it goes hand in hand with living a healthy lifestyle? Or is it just a coincidence?

Do you eat pork? That's one that we don't do becau...

2010-02-10T00:32:11.994-07:00

Do you eat pork? That's one that we don't do because of the health concerns with that one. Also, no unclean seafood as well as other unclean animals like rabbits and stuff.

My grandmother is scared of doctors and has never ...

2010-02-09T23:44:12.384-07:00

My grandmother is scared of doctors and has never allowed a diagnosis, but an into to psychology class is enough basis to diagnose her with Anxiety, Panic Attacks, OCD, and possibly more. She has become increasingly difficult to work with (or work around) as she's gotten older. I can only imagine how much nicer life would be (especially for grandpa!) if she would have gotten on medication 30 years ago.
I believe that my dad (her son) is also bi-polar, and possibly one of my sisters as well. My brother has been formally diagnosed with depression, and has been on medications on and off as he tries to find what will work best for him. My husband and I have both self-diagnosed periodic depression, although in our cases it has never seemed severe enough to warrant medication.
I guess what I'm getting at is that yes, there's a social stigma...but there shouldn't be. A LOT of people have chemicals out-of-whack someplace...for some it's in their bodies and for some it's in their brains, but it's really terribly common. I'm grateful to live in a time when we understand as much as we do and are able to have medications and other helpful treatments.
Kudos to you for being open and taking on a taboo topic. It's kindof how I feel about talking about miscarriage--it's more common than most of us realize, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, and the more of us who are willing to talk, the flimsier the taboo will become.
((hugs))

I think they forgot to give me my magic underwear!...

2010-02-09T22:03:50.941-07:00

I think they forgot to give me my magic underwear!

I am a breastfeeding peer counselor at a WIC offic...

2010-01-29T14:28:27.049-07:00

I am a breastfeeding peer counselor at a WIC office in Arizona. In our county, all nutrition workers and breastfeeding counselors are required to become CBCs (certified breastfeeding counselors)which involves taking a 40 hour course on breastfeeding. We have one IBCLC on staff and one of our breastfeeding counselors has also been a LLL leader for over 10 year(she,too, is about to become an IBCLC). I am probably one of the most pro breastfeeding women you will ever meet. Both my children were born at home and I am currently nursing my 2 1/2 year old daughter. We truly want help women sucessfully breastfeed their babies here at our WIC office. We do not push artificial baby milk or the use of breast pumps. We want to see babies at the breast, nursing. That is our number one goal.

This blog is the very first research I've done in ...

2010-01-28T02:14:36.444-07:00

This blog is the very first research I've done in regard to "nuchal cords" so I post this comment fully acknowledging my ignorance of the subject. My second daughter was born with the cord wrapped tightly around her neck. It was a completely different birthing experience than that of my first daughter who arrived without complication.

Like most fathers' I was waiting in the wings for my big moment of "cutting the cord". The doctor and nurses were ribbing me a little bit about my constitution and the potential of me passing out. When my daughter "arrived", the mood changed very quickly. I won't say that it was as dramatic as a scene from "ER", but the intensity level definitely increased over concern about the cord being wrapped around her neck. She was blue - dark blue. I immediately thought the worst. When the doctor quickly cut the cord, all thought of Dad cutting the cord abandoned, the seriousness of the situation seemed to me reinforced. This was not a Kodak moment. We had some woods yet to get through. She (the doctor) did not unwrap the cord as was described in another post, she rather quickly slid the scissors between the cord and my daughters neck as soon as she was far enough out to do so. It was my impression that my daughter could not come fully out until the cord was cut, like she was tangled in it. Again, whether that's true - I can't know for sure, that was my impression at the time. I was letting the professionals due their job without a lot of annoying questions from an well-intentioned father. When she made it the full way, she was whisked to the table and heavily massaged pounded, rolled over this way and that way, with oxygen tubes shoved down her throat, suction tubes shoved down her throat all the way to the bulb. She very rapidly turned from blue to the whitest white I've ever scene for a human being - especially her face. A ghost.

As the nurses worked frantically, they regained their cheerful demeanor. I had the feeling that they might have been putting on a show of it for my benefit. I was video taping and trying to put a calm face on for my wife as well.

While working, one of the nurses said "We're doing a little physical therapy on her here. Her lungs sound a little wet so we are trying to get that fluid out of there to help her a little bit... just give her a little extra oxygen since that cord was around her neck".

They worked her for a long long time. Throughout our stay, it seemed that we were constantly monitoring every test to make sure that the cord delivery didn't have any lasting effect. Her voice took days to recover from all of the projectiles shoved down her throat.

She is now 9 months old and appears to be a perfectly healthy baby (thank God). The author of this post (Emily) claims that nuchal cords are no emergency, (and she's done far more research than I have obviously) but from my own experience, they "ain't no picnic either".

I understand that the baby is getting oxygen from the cord and not from "breathing", but you can't help but to have an emotional reaction to a cord wrapped around a blue baby's neck. I feel for all of the parents on this blog who lost children either as a result of nuchal cords or some other complication in the guise of nuchal cords. God bless all of you no matter what side of the debate you find yourself on.

Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate your c...

2010-01-22T18:03:14.000-07:00

Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate your candor and explanation of what you are going through. I also applaud your solution. I can only imagine how hard it would be to go without the highs, even if it means no longer having the lows.

My only other experience with someone who was bipolar was not a good one. She chose not to be helped by medications and instead relied on alcohol and drug use, and ended up making some poor decisions. But reading what you wrote helped me understand why she may have done so.

Thanks again for writing

Thank you for sharing this. My career background i...

2010-01-22T17:36:04.302-07:00

Thank you for sharing this. My career background is working with people with mental illness, namely bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. It always surprises people when I tell them how normal people with mental illness are. First account personal stories like yours are really important to dis-spelling the stigmas and myths surrounding this, so thank you.

You're so cool! I think it's awesome that you wri...

2010-01-21T20:50:42.722-07:00

You're so cool! I think it's awesome that you write about things like this.

Melissa, I hate to say it, but there's not much y...

2010-01-21T19:55:22.932-07:00

Melissa, I hate to say it, but there's not much you can do. Bipolars are notoriously difficult to treat, because they don't want to be treated! Even with the self-destruction, on a good day, bipolars have energy and creativity that knows no bounds. It's like being a genius with limitless energy for a couple of weeks. Who wants to give that up? She will just have to come to a point in her life where the negative consequences outweigh the positive benefits. You can always counsel her as best as you can, and offer her your love, and hope that when she is ready, she will come and seek out your advice!